Commit To Doing One Hard Thing
October 7th, 2014
What is something that you are wanting or needing to do, but you’re not doing it because it’s hard? You are afraid. Afraid you will fail. Afraid you will disappoint yourself, or others. Afraid you’ll look like a fool. Afraid it’s not a good idea. Afraid (insert your reason or fear here).
Name it. Then, do it. TODAY. I dare you… I would love for you to comment on what it is you’re going to finally do, and report back here so we know you did it. And I thank you in advance for doing so. The rest of us will learn from, and be inspired, by you.
I would never ask you to do anything I am not willing to do. So I’m going to do it too. For the record, I’m going to give up my cell phone on the weekends for 30 days. Specifically, I’m going to turn off my cell phone at 6pm on Friday evenings, and not turn it back on until 8am on Mondays. I’ll do this for the next 4 weekends. It’s a start. This is hard because I value connectivity and do quite a bit of sharing via the device that is my cell phone. In other words, I use it for good, and I am effective at not letting it suck my time. However, what I do allow it to do is distract me. It divides my attention.
When one of my sons is talking to me and I’m taking a photo or reading Brain Pickings on my phone in the morning, my multitasked attention bothers me. I’m tired of my attention being divided, and am grateful that I’m at choice about doing something about it!
Clay Shirky, author of Cognitive Surplus, and Here Comes Everybody, and professor of new media at NYU, says when he asks students to turn off their cell phones during class, “it’s as if someone has let fresh air into the room. The conversation brightens.” (See this article –– it’s a fascinating and worthwhile read for anyone looking to be more present in this time of technology-enabled multitasking.)
I want to move toward undivided attention, and this is how I will start to accomplish it. I encourage you to hold me accountable. (Just please don’t “patrol” me – simply support me. I will do the same for you)
Thanks, and good luck!
- Categories: Family, Life and Leadership
- Tags: cell phone, commitment, goal, in the moment, multitasking, presence, technology
- Comments: 50 Comments
Love you post Shelli. Picking just one fear to tackle is so do-able – not overwhelming. I pick making a video that I’ve been delaying for a long time. The video studio is ready and waiting for me – and waiting – and waiting… I’ll have it done today.
Thanks for the constant inspiration 🙂
Martin
Martin — awesome. Thank you for joining me, and I can’t wait to see your video. Let me know when it’s complete! Thanks again for participating… I very much appreciate it.
Love it. Hmmm…fear, from something as simple as walking into my new gym this morning, (it’s large, and foreign, and there are many others there who are in much better shape, and know what they’re doing), so fear of public physical humiliation. To, fear of continuing to be embarrassed about my lack of self care and it’s evidence. So, since you posted, and I read, whilst staring at my tired, ignored mom body in the mirror, I think I’ll head that way, and at least attempt to kill two birds today. I’m committing to heading to the gym every day for the next 30 days, to get over my anxiety of public physical exposure with possible embarrassment, as well as my fear of continued negligence to this temple (currently feeling like a motel 6, in need of a lightbulb). Ugh SHELLI!! Thanks for the ass kicker, as usual, hahaha :-). Hey! Maybe someone will take pity on me, and I’ll have a new friend! See ya in 30 days!
Thank you dear Sarah! For what it’s worth, your “neglected” physical temple is pretty amazing looking. 🙂 Just sayin’. But I’m so glad to hear from you, and I will be supporting you and pulling for you as you take this challenge on. Thanks for participating! xo
I’m committing to greeting everyone I pass by. So many of us walk around town, into the grocery store, at the gas station and don’t give so much as a glance to others around us. There is a comfort zone that we get stuck in, not having to talk to people we don’t know; so I will say “hello”.
P.S. Thanks for the push.
Josh, that is an awesome thing to commit to. Thanks for participating and sharing your goal. The world will be a better place because of your goal.
Great post Shelli! I am taking on the challenge of creating one new piece a day for the next 30 days. It is the perfect time of year for me to be doing this and your challenge puts a fire under my rear. Cheers to 30 day challengers!!
Whitney, thanks for participating. I can’t wait to see the 30 pieces. Will you post a link to photos of one or some or all of them here 30 days from now? Maybe I will finally buy some earrings from you… I’ve wanted some since seeing the ones your mom was wearing on her trip through town recently!
Love this, Shelli! So happy I saw your post on LinkedIn just now. I’m committing to launching something rather large to set up 2015. Motivated to move our family out to the coast for the month of February. So much to do, but you just gave me the final kick in the kiester I needed. Love your phone challenge as well. I gotta do that. Maybe I’ll join you and we can fax one another on weekends.
Kristoffer, thanks for participating! I triple dog dare you to do the first thing that will enable your bigger 2015 plan. And, hahahaha re. the faxing. I haven’t had a fax machine since selling my (first) company in 2008. But your comment made me laugh, so thank you for that. Perhaps we could just send telepathic signals to one another during the gadget detox weekends… 🙂
It’s seemingly not such a big thing to fear, or do; but I need to go into the crawl space and change the furnace filter. Not a place I like or want to go! I procrastinate as long as possible, and embarrassingly enough, it has been a year since the last venture.
Probably because last year while I was crawling to the furnace; I lifted, turned and whacked my head hard, on a floor joist, at an awkward angle. My neck muscles went into spasm down one side and into my shoulder. It hurt so bad that I had to lie down, right there. Worse yet, facing away from the door and the light. I swore, and cried, and laughed because it was absurdly ridiculous.
The laughter made me relax, then so did the spasms. I was able to finish the task at hand. And it’s been a whole year.
Enough procrastination, time to move forward.
Thanks for the push!
OMG, you’re braver than I am. Nothing says fear to me like crawl space! Ha! But seriously…
I would tell you to do it just like last year if only for the laugh that came with it… but be careful. Thanks for participating! 🙂
Great challenge, Shelli! I’m choosing to write for 30 mins for 30 days. Who knows what the heck will come out and that makes me a bit nervous. However, I will A) let out what ever’s trapped in there and B) begin a disciplined writing practice that will hopefully improve my writing. Thanks again! 🙂 Would you mind if I shared your link to this challenge on my One Woman Adventure face book page? (That will not count as part of today’s writing 😉
Hi Denise! Thanks so much for participating! I am excited to see what you write! Yes please do link to this post–I’d appreciate it,and hope your readers enjoy it. 🙂
I’m committing to doing something fun with my daughter every day (that I’m in town) just so we can add a few moments of laughter to our daily routine.
Kathy, what a great thing to commit to – having more fun with your child. You guys already have so much fun, that I can only imagine how this additional laughter is going to be enjoyed. xo Thanks for participating!
When I meditate before I start the day I find the whole day goes better, yet far to often I allow many things to interfer with the practice. I vow to meditate for 20 minutes every morning for 30 days.
Jan, what an awesome and hard thing to commit to. I have been doing a 10-minute mindfulness practice every single week day since February 2013. I started that practice with a 30-day goal, so if nothing else I am here to say the impossible can be done. 🙂 Seriously, if you can do this, which I know you can, it will become a non-negotiable ritual for the betterment of your life. Good luck and keep me posted! Mindfully, Shelli
Hi Shelli! My commitment will be to let my white silver strands brighten my head instead of covering them up with brown hair dye. It’s been something I’ve been sitting on the fence with. Part of me is curious while part of me is worried I’ll look unkept and aged to others. My white silvers are coming in pretty darn fast now a days so I’m going to commit to let them grow in for a while, you know, take them out for a test drive and see what they’ll look like. Here’s to letting Mother Nature color me with silver streaks! Gulp! Lol!
Dear Diana! I admire you for your commitment. I should be so daring! I can tell you, though, if all of your hair were to turn grow tomorrow, you’d still be one of the most dashing and beautiful women I’ve ever known. Truly! Good luck and thanks for participating and for sharing. love, shelli
Thanks for the challenge Shelli! I have been wanting to take one-on-one Spanish lessons but I’m intimidated. Today I signed up for a trial class! Por favor me deseo buena suerte (wish me good luck please!)
Dear Kathy,
!Caca Santa! (Holy crap!) 🙂 I’m so proud of you for signing up. Yeehaw! That is awesome.You will then be able to get us all around in Argentina, etc., with your language skills. 🙂 Seriously, great job signing up. Mantenme (keep me posted?) on how it goes. Hope to see you for coffee, like, ASAP? xo, Shelli
I am in need of a little more rigid structure to my day. My fear with this structure or schedule is that it will take away my free (usually unproductive time) time. I am going to create a schedule that will bring more focus to my midday, noon to three, which usually turns into my unfocused attention. I stall doing important things and instead do things to stay busy. (Clean, walk the dog, Facebook and Pinterest) I notice that when I’m not specific with how I want to spend my “free time” it’s very wasted and I later feel guilty for not doing something more productive; like homework, organizing workshops, recruiting clients and building my blog plan. I will make a schedule that will include (in ink) goal focused tasks scheduled into my free time. Hopefully by scheduling it in, it will get done.
Jenni–thanks for participating! Supporting you and sending my best on your commitment to putting down on paper a schedule that will ensure you get to the things that matter to you most, on a consistent schedule! Hugs, Shelli
Shelli,
Thanks for the challenge. P90x3 workout for 90 days is the commitment. Looking for everything that comes with fitness and consistent exercise. Up at 5:20am daily, before work, because it’s the only time I’m guaranteed not to be interrupted. Hoping that that special someone will join me on occasion. Again, thanks for the nudge.
Don, Thank you for participating. You got this…please keep me posted. I am pulling for you. We all have two minds–the one that belongs to our best self and the other one. When the alarm goes off at 5:20a, remember to trust that your Best Self knew what he was doing when set the alarm! 🙂 My best, Shelli
OK, I’m in! I have ben “meaning” to start a home meditation practice for a long time, and well, you know how it goes, I just haven’t ever done it. So starting today, I will do a brief meditation and then see if I can grow it to up to 20 minutes within 30 days.
Wish me luck !
p.s. and I am excited to hear how the no weekends for the phone goes, as that is one I might well do too. Thank you for the inspiration.
Hi Michele! Thank you so much for playing. I am pulling for you and am there in spirit as you make meditation a practice/ritual. Keep me posted & let me know if I can help! Hugs, Shelli
ditto. disconnecting from phones and social media actually lets one really connect… with oneself and others.
I get energy just from reading your post, Shelli, and I love your dare.My work over the next six weeks or so is to end the influence of all my nasty saboteurs (see Positive Intelligence, Shirzad Chamine.) I’m tracking how I do at it daily. It’s definitely an epic undertaking; I’m going for an epic shift of how I live my life!
Doug!! Thank you so much for playing. (You do realize that you are partly to blame for my Epic Life, and my ability to do this work…You were there in the beginning–my first coaching course–and you believed I could be a good coach before I believed it. THANK YOU) wishing you the best, and supporting you in your Epic shift. Hugs, Shelli
Embarrassed to share…I’m going to stop swearing for 30 days. It won’t be easy, as it’s become such a part of my casual conversation.
Kara, thank you for participating! I am pulling for you. Try to come up with a code word that you can insert instead of a cuss word–one that makes you smile. Keep me posted…pulling for you. Thanks again.
Thank you Shelli!! I’m committing to at least 30 minutes of yoga every day. Too often I forget of forgo taking thd time to tune in, to find balance. Sometimes it is frightening to feel how my body is changing, to feel the areas of chronic soreness and old injuries, to know I am aging. Doing yoga makes me confront the process. When I acknowledge and accept the process, I become more graceful.
Sonjia, thanks for playing and committing. Good luck… what a FANTASTIC thing to commit to… I should follow you… Keep me posted. Pulling for you! Hugs, Shelli
Great idea, Shelli. I am committing to communicating a sincere positive comment or thank you to a new person for the next 30 days. A good reminder to appreciate the people and gratitudes in my life.
Dear Leann, Thanks so much for participating. Gratitude for someone each day for 30 days — what a wonderful and admirable thing to commit to. Best wishes, and know that I’m here for you in support! xo, Shelli
I woke up this morning with three people in mind that I haven’t been in touch with for many years. So, thank you once again.
For the next 30 days I’m going to work on making a change with my family. My husband and I both work and I have an 18 yr old son and a 15 yr old daughter. They’re both very active in sports and school activities. My goal is to get 1 full, uninterrupted hour a week of talk and chill time with all 4 of us together. No phones, tv, tablets or distractions. Time flies by too fast and I want this connection time before my babies fly the coop. My plan is to journal afterward because a) I have a horrible memory and b) I wanna be able to go back and relive these moments. Thank you for the motivation!
Dear Kaysie, what a wonderful thing to commit to – more quality, undivided attention with your family. Good luck, and keep me posted on how it goes. I’m pulling for you! Thanks for participating and for sharing about this change/goal! Best, Shelli
I had to think about this a couple days; there are certainly enough candidates. But when I think about doing something for 30 days, I want to do something that will shake my tree a little and leave room for something – perhaps a new good habit – anything that will be different and positive. I am a confessed cable news junkie (NOT Fox) and I’ve decided that I am going to stop watching cable news until 7pm. I used to just have it on during the day for “company/background”, and then it began to seep into my consciousness – I’m sick of the negativity, the repetitiveness and the distraction – it’s really sickening; the vibe is so bad and unhealthy for my soul. I did it yesterday and today so far – it is refreshing! I wonder what it will be like to not be up to the minute on all the jackass crap out there!?
Dear Jackie, what an awesome idea! I am a news junkie too, and agree it’s so negative and repetitive. There has to be a cost to listening to so much of it… I think it’s wonderful that you’re going to try this out. Please let me know how it goes… and if you make it 30 days… I know you will! Thanks so much for sharing, and for participating in this challenge! Hugs, Shelli
Great idea! You are such a positive person! Best of luck to you
Ahhh one hard thing. I am easing into my 9 months at the beach and really enjoying the flow and softness of life. And then here comes Shelli reminding me to keep challenging myself, thank you my friend. I am going to commit to a daily morning practice, before 7am, of meditation for 60 days. I will hopefully turn that 60 into 600. Not in a hard way but a supportive way. Isn’t it often the hard things that are the most supportive.
Dear Wendy! THANK YOU for participating. I love your goal. I hope it turns into 600 days. Committing to 60 minutes daily before 7 am is big – and admirable! =As we touched on during one of our Middle Fork lunches, I think there is freedom in discipline. I personally wish for daily meditation to be one of my “non-negotiable rituals,” and I’m only up to 10 minutes on weekdays, so your goal inspires me! I’m so excited for your adventure, and for you all having the courage to take this 9 months to enjoy life and slow the rate of life down some. Thanks again for participating in this; it means a lot to me! I MISS YOU! Big hugs from Lander, Shelli
Charlie and I are committing to turning off all screens by 9 and just connecting. Playing backgammon or chess, or just talking. We have fostered the unfortunate habit of tuning into our screens and tuning out our partner. Hopefully this will be a lifelong habit!
Thank you for inspiring us!
Jenn, awesome!!!! Let me know how this goes! I talked Jerry and the boys into a “no screens” rule Mon-Thurs evenings. It was really hard at first, but now we’ve grown accustomed to finding creative ways to use that time. (Family wrestling matches and Apples to Apples, etc.) NOTE: However, at the moment I’m out of town and I sorta have a feeling the boys are breaking the rule and watching James Bond or some other male-oriented superhero show while I’m away. 🙂 I’m inspired that you’re going to do this. Thanks for committing and playing. I will be pulling for you guys. Big hugs, Shelli
I’ve been mulling over your dare. What am I afraid of? ‘Well, nothing’ the macho man in me says. Ha. But that’s just a quick reflection with lack of depth on a busy moment. Not to be ‘busy’ is something I strive to do so that I may get down to what really matters. oops.
Then, I read this and the light went on for a plethora of fears:
“It is not the path which is the difficulty.
It is the difficulty which is the path.”
One difficulty for me to face is to learn and ‘dare I say’, master the French language. That will be years…decades in the making for this slow witted linguist. Je suis francais…Yes, it’s true, I am French through marriage, and I have a four year old daughter that is now fluent and translating for her papa! I’ve got to latch on to my two year old son and keep pace! I’ll be overrun otherwise!
So there it is…I’ve got to learn French. So I’m engaging my daughter and son in French conversation and will hold it (in French) for a few minutes a day. And know I can speak it. Attitude adjustment time…
Thanks Shelli for the inner reflection…
Hi Kevin! Merci d’avoir joué! I hope that translated correctly — I used an app. 🙂 Learning French is an awesome thing to commit to! Let me know how this daily French conversation with your daughter and son is going! I’m pulling from you from Wyoming. My best, Shelli
Hi all! Checking in to see how all of your 30-day commitments are going? I’m happy to report that I’m 3 weekends in with NO CELL PHONE. It’s been awesome… I think I’m going to make it one more weekend… And, I may continue this as a way of a life for some more weeks.
Please let me know how your commitments are going. I’m here for you!
Shelli