Today is the birthday of my friend, Lori Barney, who died suddenly one day last October. Lori lived life to the fullest better than anyone I know. When I remember Lori, I remember that we each have only one life, and that it is a gift.
Remembering Lori motivates me to want to help others remember this fact, and to help them create a life they love.
When I want to commit to something — a change, small or big — and I don’t, it’s almost always because I’m afraid. Afraid of failing. Afraid of making a fool out of myself. Afraid of falling short or disappointing myself or others. Afraid of being uncomfortable. Afraid of hurting others. The list goes on.
What are you not committing to, and what’s keeping you from committing to it?
I would love for you to share your response to this question in the comments section.
Thank you in advance.
I work with a life coach. Her name is Kate Roeske (who, by the way, rocks). This morning I had a call scheduled with her. Before placing the call, I noticed I was feeling nervous.
Why, you ask? Because my coach demands that I play big. Playing big is scary and uncomfortable.
And yet, that is what I pay her for — to demand that I play big.
My life is better than it’s ever been and yet I continue to work with a life coach. The reason is quite simple: without Kate in my corner pushing me to play big, and holding me accountable, I would not play big very often.
In other words, if I wanted to play small, I would not work with a life coach.
We often do not do what we want or need to do because it is hard. We are afraid. It’s scary. There will likely be discomfort and pain. We could fail, perhaps miserably. We could make fools out of ourselves. So, we come up with excuses to avoid the difficult and uncomfortable. We take detours. Before we know it, years have passed and it’s too late. The result is regret.
This is a compelling and fascinating Ted Talk by Larry Smith called “You will fail to have a great career.” It is funny and blunt. And, I agree with his message, wholeheartedly. I especially like his points made at 9 minutes and around 12:25. I hope you get as much out of it as I did.
Disclaimer: I am NOT one of those people who abhors New Years Resolutions. I love them. What’s not to like or love about using the new year, fresh off of holiday goodies and the end of one year and the start of another to resolve to make positive change(s)?
Hi there. I like challenges, so I like the challenges of making change.
I know I’m a little weird this way, but I love change — if it’s positive. And, the harder the change, the better, as far as I’m concerned. I like the challenge it provides and the fulfillment that follows if I’ve remained committed to it — not to mention the benefits realized in my life as a result of making the change.
I read Switch, by brothers Dan and Chip Heath some months ago. It is an amazing book. Its subtitle is Making Change When Change is Hard. Yes, for me, this book resonates.
Among the most common — and important, I might add — resolutions people make for the new year are related to weight and fitness. To lose weight and to get more exercise. Both of these things not only will help prevent many illnesses, extend our lives and possibly even save our lives, but will also add vitality and energy to our lives. Who among us doesn’t want more vitality and energy? The other important benefits of being at our ideal weights with improved fitness are — let’s not hide these important realities — is that we will look better and be more confident.
Most of us have an idea about what we want our life and future to be. Call it our destination. It’s where we’re headed. It’s the life that we’re trying to create. It’s what every day we’re working toward.There are many ways we can get there. And I suspect most of us would agree that there is value in the journey.
So we “route find” our way through our lives. At times we follow paved roads, complete with signs and navigation. Other times we follow trails. And still other times we bushwhack, creating our own path. Life is a series of macro and micro route finding decisions. For example, a macro decision for me is deciding that I want to be a life and leadership coach. A micro decision might be determining what coaching program to enroll in.
During the 45-mile Rim-to-Rim-to-Rim of Grand Canyon in May 2010.
One of my favorite words is EPIC. I probably drive people nuts because I say it (as well as stellar) so often. Even my new business (Epic Life) even has the word in it. I have a lot of epic in my life. This is by design.
By epic, I mean something beyond scale, bigger than anything you’ve done before. By epic, I mean so difficult it will require, at times, a heroic effort; so difficult its outcome is uncertain; so difficult it will require skills you don’t currently have; so difficult it cannot be done alone — it requires a team. For all of these reasons, epic means unforgettable. You will never forget the experience.
